Counting the omer: day 24

Day 24_a poem shard: first draft, contemplating the moussaoui verdict
there is a lake in my heart, in the middle_of me _in between
waiting waiting waiting_for the wind to blow for the rain to come for change for change for hope for hope_for strength for time
bearing witness_i want to look away i want to go away i want it to all go away_i am tired_tired_tired_my skin is splitting _i am splitting_like shards of glass _or ancient pottery_buried under the remains of footprints and fireplaces_where people once gathered to tell stories and make love
what have we become_to hold a man in a box a cement box_turning every moment into living death_one second the same as the one before and the one to come_no measure of the days the hours_just the clank of cage doors _the passing of trays of gruel_do we need these monks of iniquity to mark our time_while we waste life on sordid soap operas and distorted reality_while we burn the earth _eatting the flesh of the children halfway across the world
how are we saved by blocks of concrete_that one shard of light a letter home a book _art hope vision touch might destroy the fragility of our world_the illusion the lie _can we stop the screams in the night the burning tower the bodies_the bombs the blood the fear with boxes tighter than a tomb_terror torment take me_get me out of here i can’t watch any longer_i do not want to know_these rooms, these tiny boxes_justice security a strange disguise_terror depravity _what mind thought this into being_what system calls this home?

Text:_DAy 24_tiferet in netzach_beauty, harmony, balance
creativity inspiration, endurance
the garden
the garden
the garden
my tiny window to the world from the prison of the body.  three days of listless waiting.  unendurable eternity, the monotony of each second no different then the one before or after.
i watch the plants grow each day new changes. today i planted corn my connection to the eternal past the eternal future.  the dirt between my toes my hands digging into earth grain the inheritance heirloom seeds for the future eternal.
i wait like water dripping marking time
marking time
wait_moments of strength are rare gems among pebbles
blossoms among thorns
the wind a breeze my skin electric.

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