Counting the omer: days 43 and 44

Day 43

Text:_Chesed shebe Malchut
six weeks and one day of the omer
loving kindness within kingdom sovereignty grounding
what does love look like?_does it have form?_does it endure?_is it always kind?_the distance between us_who am i?_who are you?
dance with me
how to dance when i cannot walk
integrity_mine yours what holds us together?
i wander i wonder i wander i wonder i wander
how far do we go for love?
how far does it take us?
where are we going?
love is home
i’m not sure what i am doing
to all my stalkers:_this is not about you.
DAY 44

Text:
GEVURAH SHEBE MALCHUT
today is day 44 of the omer marking six weeks and two days of the omer.  strength boundaries limits in kingdom sovereignty grounding and I feel the full impact of my limits.  pain reduces me to a sick woman in am bed.  a faciitis in my right plantars tendon makes walking painful.  i need to do mild stretches and wait for it to heal; the slow mending of cell and sinew.   my neck hips elbow and shoulders also hurt.
so much to do_no body to do it with,
the body has left me and my spirit is stuck in bed.
i need to find work. my pension does not provide for me.  i am in the kingdom; a peasant, a peon and crippled beggar.  i cannot sustain myself here.  everything costs so much.
where am i going?
where is home where is home?
without my foot i cannot walk without my wings i cannot fly.
where am i from?
i have no roots i do not belong anywhere i everything i love has been scattered like old leaves.  nothing connects
separate pieces of broken glass that do  not fit together.